Bittersweet

Sometimes, the feeling of bittersweet just lingers.

Sweet for the fact that I'm happy, bitter that I'm not part of it.

Contradictory part of me thought it would be better things left this way, life goes on without a pinch; but on the other, this very same thing can rip my heart every time it relives before my eyes, mocking at me each time I ruminate in anguish. Not that it really is important in my life since I'm not very involved for a long time, but it's just one of the very few things that could make me love and hate at the same time.

And one that is really hard for me to take it easy and let it pass.

Maybe, it's all the pride and ego that's torturing me. Why can't I just see pass that and be happy with my life?

Maybe it's just too tough to treat something that used to be really important, to be something totally unimportant now.

Some things, i wished, would disppear or just be erased eternally but at the same time, I'm really curious about how things would turn out if I hang on.

Sigh.

Now I see why I have plenty of white hair these days.

*thanks cat for your hard work and effort in search of my new blog home! (hopefully a permanent one..)