What has happened?

People who have not met me for at least 6 months will ask me the same question.

What on earth happened to my face?

Maybe not everyone would be that straightfoward but still, I could tell from their faces with the "what-the-f-happened-to-you" kind of look.

That's an ego-crashing question, even when I do not give any answer. Sad to say, I have seriously no idea what have happened, but my face had sudden late-puberty outbreaks that's making my face like the surface of a crater since March. That was right after my training, exactly when I begin the actual work. People are guessing that it could be stress or sleep related, but that is not really something within my control afterall.

I've been taking forever to upload the photos because I'm spending at least 50% more time editing the pictures than I used to. Not that I have complexion of an angel before, but it was manageable. Pimple-acneless. All I had to do was to adjust the colors. Each time I look at my own photos, the more upset I feel. It's been more than 6 months, no doctor / dermatologist / beautician could fix it.

I never stopped complaining how ugly it is because it certainly makes me feel much more inferior than ever. People who compliment I still look 'good' somehow makes me feel none the better, not because I don't trust what they've said but I don't have faith in how I truly look now.

The chain of effects burns down to my confidence issue, that I no longer feel good about myself. I may look like crap all along but least it didn't felt like it back then. Now I truly do. Some people may be savouring the moment, rejoicing that it's god's way to punish me for whatever reason they hated me for. Some may just be speechless, cos they ran out of words to comfort me further with facts placed right infront of them.

Oh god, what has happened?